Is Honesty the Best Excuse?

It’s Friday night and one of your friend texts you and asks if you want to go out tonight. Though you aren’t oppose to going out, after a long exhausting day at life/work, you were seriously looking forward eating dinner in bed, wearing a rip big -tee while indulging on some Netflix and drinking a gallon of a sugary substance by the carton. You suddenly are faced with responding.

Your honest answer would be no I’m not busy but I want to stay home. However, you might wrestle with yourself coming up with a proper excuse to stay at home. The little voice in your head says it’s not a good enough excuse and it actually sounds somewhat rude or even lightweight selfish for not hanging out, especially because you are technically free. The automatic thought is that “not busy” means you are free, and therefore, “not busy” means you have no excuse to stay home. You come to the conclusion your excuse is not valid enough.

And at that moment, we are faced with this predicament should we say the truth that we just want to stay in or should we say a “little white lie?” Some of us go even as far as to text the friend showing an intention of wanting to go out but knowing in their back of their mind, they most likely will stay in. I have been on both sides of the situation, and it’s always frustrating for the person who is making the plan and for the other person who is afraid to disappoint the other person.

What if we could just be straight up and say that we don’t want to go out and we have no real excuse at all, but that we just don’t feel up to it. For example, ” Thanks for inviting me and no I don’t have any plans, but I just want to stay in.” It’s quite hard for someone to guilt trip you when you leave such a dry response but just so happens to be the truth. How liberating would that be for both parties? Your friend has time to find someone else to go out with and they might even have a more fabulous time than with you because their other friend actually wanted to go out! Meanwhile, you have the night all to yourself. Can you say win-win?

This prompts the question when did being polite mean compromising or exaggerating and in some case even lying. Sadly, a lot of us including myself might end up going out or having to feel the need to exaggerate a real excuse in order to not go out. All this for the sake of feeling like my honest answer is not valid enough. Now that doesn’t mean that I always exaggerate my responses for not wanting to go out. In fact, for the most part, I have friends that I can give that type of honest answer and it won’t be a problem, but from time to time I find myself in these situations, which makes me think what if honesty is the best excuse?

Anyways, these are some of my thoughts and it still a fresh thought so I would love to hear other opinions on this matter, and exactly how do you respond in similar situations.

-Sam

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